I’m not being “difficult”, I truly want to know.

Why is it that all of my stories, whether they contain explicit sex or not, automatically receive the highest (or second-highest) ‘heat’ ratings from certain publishers? How is GLBTAQ? content automatically on equal footing with BDSM/three-/more-some stories?

For example, my bizarre little thing that’s been eating my brain, lately, has a total of four described kisses, all of which are basically pecks on the mouth. That’s it. There’s some passing mention of other kisses, but you’ve essentially read how they’re described, in all of their glorious lack of detail.

Yet, because the kisser and the kissee are both male, according to at least TWO publishers’ guidelines, that story? Has to be rated at least the same as Awydd — which is chock-full of D/s, bondage, spanking, graphic language, and anal sex.

Nick and Brick (who are not twins) haven’t even had more than their pecks; the only “bad” word that’s been used in the story is ‘whore’ (and ‘strumpet’, now that I think of it), but they’re the same as Max and Trev’s Fantasy-Fulfillment Story.

I’m sorry, I really, really don’t fucking get it. I mean, maybe I’m stupid or something — that’s always a possibility — but I can’t see it. I just can’t figure out why I’m supposed to essentially put an R rating on something that’s PG at best, at the moment, just because it’s got a couple of guys kissing in. They claim it applies unilaterally to lesbian, bi, and trans content, too; wonder if that’s really true — after all, everyone knows two girls kissing is hawt, not nasty. [/sarcasm]

My brain hurts.

From a publishers Do Not Want! list: Sexual abuse of minors, including exposure to sexual acts. This includes consensual acts by anyone under 18.

I’m sorry, how is it that “consensual” and “abuse” end up being synonyms? Could someone PLEASE explain that to me, in words of one syllable or less? Because I’m pretty sure that that’s the only way I’ll EVER understand it.

Two seventeen-years-and-three-hundred-sixty-four-days-old people getting it on, because they’re horny and in love = abuse. Yeah, no, still not working for me.

An adult and a 12-year-old? That’s wrong. An 18-year-old and a 17-year-old? Depends on the circumstances. I don’t think it automatically constitutes abuse; and if they’re both saying YES then I’m even more lost as to how it can be abuse. (Especially if it’s all the 17-year-old’s idea.)

This sort of thing is exactly why I’d make a horrible juror — I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from asking questions of/arguing with the lawyers.